类别：悲伤支持与疗愈

While it is recognized that everyone grieves in different ways, there is still something quite universal about the experience. According to the popular Kübler-Ross model (or the five stages of grieving, as many know it as), terminally ill patients, and those who are losing, or have lost, a loved one experience five key emotions as they work through their grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance . While we recognize that this is not everyone’s experience, these are universal experiences that most people can relate to in some way when facing a tremendous loss. DENIAL Denial is listed first as it is often the snap emotion that we feel when we are given bad news. It’s almost our brain trying to protect us from emotional hardship. “No, this can’t be true. You must have me confused with someone else.” Even though deep down we know what we’ve just learned it true, we can’t help but go into denial mode. Whether a doctor has just told you have a fatal, incurable disease, or a family member has called to tell you that someone close to you has just passed away, feelings of denial can be strong. ANGER The denial stage is often short-lived, which is why anger often follows. Whether you’re looking for someone to blame or you’re feeling like you live in a cruel and unfair world, anger can be a visceral reaction when dealing with a traumatic event. “This is unfair! Why is this happening to me?” BARGAINING Bargaining can be one of the most heartbreaking stages of grief. For the terminally ill, this might be, “If I get better, I promised I’ll take better care of myself.” For those grieving over the loss of a loved one, they might bargain with a higher power, “If I could only have one more day with them, I promise I’ll be a better person.” What’s heartbreaking is that these requests cannot be granted, and these promises are often made in vain due to emotional stress. DEPRESSION This can be the toughest stage to overcome. After denial, anger, and bargaining fail to change the outcome, you can fall into a deep depression knowing there’s nothing you can do. During this stage you might feel defeated – that there’s no point in trying to do anything, because you cannot change what’s happened. You might refuse to talk to anyone, and avoid social interaction entirely. Some people find it hard to get out of this stage alone, and require grief counselling. Having someone to talk to is important for many people going through depression due to grief. For some counselling is the only way they can reach the fifth and final stage. ACCEPTANCE While still sad, this is the stage where the patient or loved one has accepted what’s happened and has more or less made their peace with it. It’s about understanding that what’s happened, or what’s about to happen, was and is inevitable. When you accept this you can come to terms with immortality, which is part of being human. “I will really miss them, but I have some wonderful memories and they will live on in my heart.” If you or someone you know is going through grief after the death of a loved one, or after receiving devastating news, the Funeral Directors at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home in Markham have a lot of resources available to you to help you get through this difficult time. If you live in the York Region, here are some local organizations that can help: Bereaved Families of York Region Evergreen Chrysalis Psychological and Counselling Services

The term “bucket list” gets thrown around so often these days it’s practically lost it’s intended meaning. For many, it’s almost a wish list of experiences they want to have in their lifetime. The true origin is a big more serious. The term was popularized by the 2007 Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson film The Bucket List . It’s the story of two terminally ill men who escape the cancer ward at the hospital to have an adventure before they... kick the bucket. The key to creating a good and meaningful bucket list is to be realistic. The idea behind making such a list is about living life to the fullest, and doing things you always wanted to do, but held back for one reason or another. That said, only write down that you want to climb Mount Everest if you A) are interested in climbing mountains, B) can handle the mental and physical toll such a climb would take on your body, and C) if you can finance such an expedition. The point is keep it manageable and personal. The goal is to check as many things off that list as possible – not to leave this earth with a list of shoulda-coulda-wouldas. So fill that list with things you realistically can do, but just haven’t. Don’t Google “what should I put on my ‘Bucket List’?” You’re missing the point if you have to borrow ideas from others. The best way to write an honest to-do list for life is to look deep inside yourself and think about all the things you want to do. Are there any foods you want to try that you were always afraid to? Do you want to learn a new skill, such as knitting, woodworking, or painting? Do you want to take a road trip across the country? Get a tattoo? Learn Japanese? Everyone has those secret desires that quietly burn inside us that we repress because it seems impractical or frivolous. Fulfill those dreams! Don’t wait for that diagnosis that tells you your time if nearly up. Start today! Put pen to paper and follow your heart! Chapel Ridge Funeral Home & Cremation Centre in Markham, Ontario, offers a wide variety of personalized services for funerals and memorials. We offer pre-arrangements so your loved ones don’t have to be burdened with making the decisions. Life is a gift, and we are there for families who wish to celebrate the wonderful life of their deceased loved one.

When it comes to the difficult conversations – ones about death and dying – we can’t always find the right words to describe how we’re feeling. Whether you’re trying to come to terms with what’s happening to you or a loved one, or if you want to find a good quote or passage to read at a funeral or memorial, you can take inspiration from many writers and thinkers who have been able to articulate these feelings in ways you’ve never thought of. Quotes about Death and Dying “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.” – Steve Jobs “One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.” – Friedrich Nietzsche “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” – Mark Twain “To die, to sleep – To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub, For in this sleep of death what dreams may come…” – William Shakespeare, Hamlet “Time,” the Captain said, “is not what you think.” He sat down next to Eddie. “Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on earth is only the beginning.” – Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven “People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were traveling abroad.” – Marcel Proust “I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” – Winston Churchill These are just a few quotes, but we hope they provided comfort, and maybe even a laugh. When it comes to choosing quotes and passages for funerals, memorials or epitaphs, you have to select one that truly suits the person you want it to represent. If you need help planning a service, contact the team at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home and Cremation Centre in Markham.

While death is sad at any age. When we care about someone, the loss is felt regardless of how old they were. That said, many of us have an easier time accepting the death of an elderly family member, as these deaths are sometimes followed by feelings of relief. “I’m glad they’re no longer suffering,” and “they lived a long life” are common refrains. But when a young person dies – especially unexpectedly – it hits you like a ton of bricks. When a person’s life is cut short, we are left questioning what it all means. How can life be so cruel? When a young person dies, you might feel depressed, numb…in a state of shock. You might feel like you’ll never feel good again. That this grief is a permanent state. And while life may never feel like it did before, recovery is possible. You just have to be patient and kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel Don’t bottle up your feelings. Let them out in a safe and judgement-free environment. It’s sad when a young person dies. Whether they were a friend, a family member, a classmate or a colleague, it can be a sober reminder of the fragility of life. Seek and accept support If you have a support system, use it. Lean on friends and family during this difficult time. If you feel alone, look for other safety nets, such as grief councillors or group therapy. Grieving alone is possible, but if you want to heal, don’t be afraid of opening up and letting others help you Learn lessons and help others While it doesn’t feel like it at the beginning – when you’re still in a state of shock – but this pain can actually teach you some very valuable lessons. For starters, it can teach you that every day is a gift. Your grief can also make you a more compassionate and empathetic person if you choose the positives over the dark thoughts. You can then use this empathy and compassion to help others. For parent’s who lose children, you can help support other parents and caregivers who have lost someone. While no one would wish this situation on anyone, you can use this pain to become a force of good – even if it’s hard. Reach out The staff at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home & Cremation Centre in Markham understand how difficult it is to lose a loved one – especially a young person. We can refer you to a bereavement councillor, or we are always available to listen. Contact us today !

With Hanukkah starting soon and Christmas less than a month away, you are probably expected to share in the merriment. But if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, you’re problem not feeling very joyful. It can be difficult to know how to grieve over the holidays, when everyone wants you to be happy, but you can’t help but feel sad and alone. There is no cure all or simple solution – you just need patience and understanding from those around you. How to Grieve Over the Holidays Include your loved one in some way during the holidays. This could be through religious rituals – such as prayer or lighting a candle at church. It could also be done in a secular way, such as preparing their favourite dish as part of the holiday meal, or putting an ornament they loved on the tree. Have a back-up plan. Maybe the day before a big holiday dinner you’ll be feeling great, but then you wake up and everything feels wrong. Allow yourself to change plans if you need to. Tell your loved ones you will try to make it, but will plan for a quiet meal at home if need be. Remember that the holidays will return next year. If this year just isn’t feeling right, skip it and don’t feel guilty. There’s always next year. Start a new tradition. If the holidays without your loved one is too difficult because of all the traditions tied to that individual, change it up. Start new traditions. It can mark the beginning of something new. Don’t feel guilty over your grief. You don’t need one more thing to feel sad about. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel so your can heal. Let loved ones in. Even if you’re not up for celebrating, don’t shut family and friends out. Let them be there for you. Let them help. If they want to make you tea and bring you food, let them. It all comes from a place of love and concern. It’s okay to have fun. If you do feel up for for celebrating, that’s okay. You don’t have to feel like you’re not sad enough, or should be still in perpetual mourning. If you feel like participating in the festivities, that doesn’t mean you aren’t still missing your loved one. Contact us If you’re struggling with how to grieve over the holidays, the staff at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home and Cremation Centre in Markham can help. We can refer you to a local grief counsellor, or just listen if that’s what you need.

Even though it’s one of the most human things in the world, many of us are still very uncomfortable talking about death and dying. Even though it is inevitable, most of us are hush-hush about it. Some people are trying to change this. That is where the death cafe comes into play. A death cafe isn’t as dark as it sounds. It’s safe space where people, mostly strangers, can gather around a table and openly talk about death. It’s not meant to be morbid, but rather comforting and educating. Death is part of the human experience, and those who set up these death cafes are trying to bring these topics back to the table, rather than allowing them to be swept under the rug. Why you should talk about death Death cafes are trying to de-stigmatize the topic of death because it’s important as humans to be open and honest about one of life’s most shocking realities. By becoming more comfortable talking about death, participants can begin asking the hard questions and have real discussions with loved ones. Many people lose a loved one without ever knowing their true wishes. Being able to have a real talk about death means you can learn these things before it’s too late. You don’t have to wait until you’re on your deathbed to tell your family what you want, and your family doesn’t have to wait that long either to ask. Talking about death doesn’t summon death. It’s okay to discuss it. What happens at a Death Cafe? Death cafes are often pop-up events, rather than permanent establishments. They are often run by community outreach groups trying to help people through these sorts of events. Many have been popping up in places across Ontario . When you attend a death cafe, you can expect tears, laughter, but most importantly, understanding. Since it’s a cafe, you can also expect there to be plenty of coffee, tea and pastries. Can’t find a Cafe? If there are no Death Cafes being run in your area, don’t worry. You are always welcome to talk to the funeral directors and staff here at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home and Cremation Centre in Markham. Here, death is never a taboo subject, though we will always approach it with kindness and compassion. Contact us today if you have questions, or you want to pre-arrange your funeral so that your wishes are known to your loved ones. Though, we always recommend having an open dialogue with them first.

You’ve probably heard the term “Self-Care” a lot lately. While we might say it’s a trend, we hope it’s a concept that’s here to say. While everyone can benefit from practicing self-care, it seems to be particularly important for those grieving the loss of a loved one. When someone you cared about passes away life just feels different. While it may seem like you’ll never feel “normal” again – there are things you can do for yourself to ease the pain. Remember, self-care doesn’t mean you forget to care for others, nor does it mean that you’re being selfish. Many people believe self-care is necessary for our mental health. Unplug Technology and social media can be great tools for communication – but it can be all-consuming sometimes. When someone you loved dies, just checking your social media can drum up emotions. And while it’s healthy to face those feelings, it can also be damaging to obsess over it. Social media is a great vehicle to receive support, but it can also be overwhelming. It’s important to step back sometimes, and focus on something else. Your digital world will still be there when you return, but it’s important to set down the phone, tablet, or computer for a few hours, a day, a weekend, a week…whatever you need. Treat Yourself Craving a nice meal, go out and get one. Want to go away for the weekend for a break, book a trip. Want a massage? Schedule an appointment. Treating yourself doesn’t even have to cost money. It could be as simple as taking a long, relaxing bath, indulging in a much-needed afternoon nap, or sleeping in on the weekend. You could light a scented candle, or play some music. When you’re stressed and upset, it can be so therapeutic to say “yes” to yourself. Many people try so hard to return to their normal lives that they burn themselves out. It’s okay to say, “yeah, I’ve been through a lot and I’m still hurting, so I’m going to take care of myself – mind, body and soul.” Quality Alone Time While being alone with your thoughts can be scary for some – especially when you’re grieving a loss – it can be incredibly freeing. Quality alone time doesn’t mean just sitting in a chair thinking about everything. It could be reading a good book, drinking a hot cup of tea, doing yoga, meditating, or taking that bath we mentioned above. If you want to cry – cry. This exercise isn’t meant to stifle your emotions – merely create a safe environment to heal. Create a Safe Space Surround yourself with things and people who add value to your life. You might be feeling like you’re missing something right now – and that’s normal. While you might not ever feel the same again, you can feel better. Go out for coffee or drinks with good friends, laugh, share stories. Expressing joy again doesn’t mean you don’t still miss your loved one, it just means you are taking care of yourself and are healing. If you’re having trouble recovering from your grief, the staff at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home and Cremation Centre in Markham can help!

Spring is considered a season of renewal, which is probably where the concept of spring cleaning came from. We’re told to purge our closets, shake the cobwebs out and start over. That said, if you’ve recently lost a loved one whom you shared a home with – a partner, child, roommate, or relative – it’s not always easy to say, “out with the old, in with the new.” Some people like to leave everything as it was when the person passed away, leaving their room or closet untouched. Others like to take their time cleaning out spaces once occupied by our loved one. Everyone mourns differently, and just because spring is coming doesn’t mean you have to rush to rid your home of these things. But if you do wish to try, here are some tips. Find Happy Memories While it might be hard to go through your loved one’s possessions, it can be easier if you can associate some of the items with good memories. Maybe your late husband’s fishing stuff will make you think of summer’s at the cottage, or your wife’s jewellery will remind you of your wedding day. When sorting this stuff you can decide what to treasure, what to pass on, and what to donate based on your emotional attachment to each thing. Instead of thinking about how the person is gone, let the experience allow you to get to know them again. Relive those happy times and smile. This doesn’t have to be a sad ritual, but rather a step in the grieving process. Don’t Put Pressure on Yourself This is not your regular spring cleaning, so don’t treat it that way. You don’t have to force yourself to throw stuff away just because you think you should. Do what you can. It can feel like you’re slowly removing them from your life and that can cause feelings of guilt. Remind yourself that possessions don’t equal a person. However, you need to also recognize that your feelings are valid. If you feel like it’s hard to sort through your deceased loved ones things, take a step back and catch your breath. Don’t Set a Timeline Instead of saying you want to fill X number of boxes by the end of the day, week, or month, just promise yourself you will try. You don’t need to put in a certain number of hours per day, or have the room cleaned out by a certain date. While it can be helpful to set goals for yourself, it won’t help your emotional state if you’re finding the process difficult and you’re afraid of failing. If it’s hard, just try to do a little bit each day, or each weekend. Ask for Help If the burden is too much to bear, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to other family members, or accept help from friends and loved ones if they offer. Cleaning up and going through all the clothes, books, knick-knacks, and more is not only an emotionally trying experience, but a physically demanding one. Let someone help you to alleviate stress on your body and your mind. Stop if it’s Too Much If it feels too soon, it might be too soon. When your still in mourning, you have a lot of things to work through. If you feel like you need someone to talk to, reach out to a grief counsellor, or faith leader in your community for help. The team at Chapel Ridge Funeral Home and Cremation Centre in Markham can help you celebrate the life of your loved one through a personalized funeral service or memorial. They are also there to listen when you need to grieve. Reach out today .